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She picked up her knife and slowly dragged it across the tender flesh of her arm, watching as her blood slowly trailed down in rivulets over her wrist where it finally fell into the sink, turning the clear water a light pink that grew darker with every drop.

This was her ritual. She did this every night without fail. As yet, nobody knew, and nobody would find out. No one had ever questioned why she never wore clothing with shorter sleeves, not even her parents. For the past three years she had done with this and she would continue to do so.  

Eventually, she drained the blood stained water from the basin. She cleaned out the residue left in the sink, clearing the pale pink stains from the pure whiteness of the sink. Once this task was completed she methodically combed her ebony hair and then proceeded to wrap her arm up before pulling the sleeve of her jumper down and going to her bedroom, her sanctuary.

She entered the room, bypassing the pile of clothing on the floor beside her door and moving to her unmade bed. She lay on her bed, cuddling an old, ragged pink teddy bear and stared up at her ceiling, listening to the argument downstairs between her parents. She closed her eyes tightly and pulled the cover over her head just like she had done as a child when she had been frightened of something in the shadows. The curses her parents threw at one another began to fade until finally, sleep takes her away and the sounds of yelling are not heard, at least until she awakes once more.


It was night once more and it was time for her ritual. Tonight though would be different. This was the last time she would be partaking in this nightly routine. For this night she would end it.

She turned on the faucet for the bath, letting the water flow into the bath. When it was partway full she turned the water down until it was only a trickle and put her knife on the edge of the bath, as well as a bottle of prescription sleeping pills. Then she slowly undressed so that she was in nothing more than a bra and her underwear and stepped into the steaming water.

She lay down, submerging herself from the chest down. She then picked up her knife admiring it for a moment. It was a relatively small blade, but it was sharp. She had bought it a year ago, finally sick of sneaking knives from the kitchen. She had chosen it after she had been attracted to the delicate roses that formed the handle of the blade and so she had bought it. She turned the blade once more in her hands and then set it down again, exchanging it for the bottle of pills. She had told her doctor she was having trouble sleeping and he had given her the prescription.  She unscrewed the cap and tilted her head back, quickly swallowing several of the pills. She repeated this process once more until she was sure she had taken enough.

Once she had done that part she took up her faithful knife. Before she began to cut she traced over the old scars and still healing cuts that covered her arms. Then she pressed the blade into the soft, yielding flesh of her wrist and pulled the knife along in a downward stroke. She slowly went over the wound several more times, stopping before her hand became too weak to finish, then moved to her other wrist and repeated the action. She lowered her arms into the now tepid water, hissing slightly as the water hit the wounds.

She lay like that for some time, and as she did she thought of why she was doing this. Her parents were too busy fighting and arguing to give her a second thought. She was not angry about this though, it was more of an ache within her heart that never left her. She wanted it to go away, and this was how she would do it. She was in no rush though; she had never been one to rush things. She was always quiet; she had never really been accepted because of this. Those she had gone to school with didn’t tease or torment her though, they just ignored her. The only person who didn’t ignore her was herself and because of this, she took time to do things for herself so they were done well. Perhaps that was why she was so methodical about this. Others may ignore her death, but she would take the time to do it properly, and that meant she would not rush.  

She began to feel cold and started to shudder. She didn’t feel any of this though as she had already lost consciousness. Soon she surrendered to death. Her body was pale and her lips had lost all colour. Her dark eyes were rolled back, the lids half closed over them. She lay still in the bathtub, water red with her blood. But she knew nothing of this as she had already taken death’s hand and passed into the sunless lands.
Warning: This may be triggering for some people.

Teenage girl commiting suicide.
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Pegasister112 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is both sad,and beautiful. 
EmmetEarwax Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Down to the cobwebbed lands...
2snails1shell Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Please don't? Stay and work "it" out !YAY! :hug: Kirk & Kiki :heart:
Anita-Dusk Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2014  Student Writer
This is very powerful, very moving. My friend just recently committed suicide, i miss him so much. I am finding it hard to accept it, but i got to remind myself that he's happy. It's so hard, I miss him to the point that it hurts. I would do anything to spend at least one more day with him, just to say goodbye. His last words were all lies; 'See you next week'. He gone and killed himself that Monday. I'm sorry mate, i should have been there for you. I shouldn't have been so distracted my my own pathetic little problems. I'm so sorry 
NyanFlower Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"She then picked up her knife admiring it for a moment. It was a relatively small blade, but it was sharp. She had bought it a year ago, finally sick of sneaking knives from the kitchen." This is true, I've been telling my friends about a secret knife I have... Anyways This was beautiful and I cried... I wish I was strong enough to be this girl :icondepressedplz:
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anna2323 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2014  Student Artist
I always feel like I want to commit suicide because im hated.
MarpMarps17 Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I don't hate you. So you're loved. 
anna2323 Featured By Owner Edited Jan 18, 2015  Student Artist
It's probably my depression disorder
MarpMarps17 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
depression disorder, shmepression smhisorder, i love you bby dont die on me
MyChemicalMinecraft Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2013
I do because my brother comited suicide and my real parents died last month. Yesterday marked the 98th time I've tried to commit  suicide.
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MyChemicalMinecraft Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2013
skywyze Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013
I had reached my wits end this helped me get back on my feet miracles really do exist just think of all the possibilities
khondjii Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013
I had tried everything finding this was the greatest thing thats ever happened my success was effortless just think of all the possibilities
earlydeets Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013
I had reached the end of the line now I dont feel bad about spending my money now everyone recognizes me believe me the sky is the limit
sethbramwell Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013
The notion of being free from all pain and trouble is one that brings me peace, but I know it will never come, as I have too much to do and not the will to do as your character did. Thank you for sharing this piece.
AOnceSuicidalPoet Featured By Owner May 21, 2013
This is incredible...
leopardcloud Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2013  Student Digital Artist
No one said suicide will be romantically tragic.
It's more like feeling at peace knowing the end to all your sufferings is just a few moments away.
Feeling relieved.
HaloneWolf Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
This is so sad, brillant masterpiece
ERMAHGERDIMANERTIST Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2013
This is by far one of the best things I have ever read.
TwilightGirlx Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
This hit home because I am a cutter...very well written
Erunyauve Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013
Wow can't believe how many people have read this. I have now changed this to mature content, I realise this should have been done a long time ago but I didn't have the option when I first posted this quite a few years back and haven't really logged in for a few years.

For all of those who are commenting saying how they "wish they were her" I can only hope that things get better for you, as they eventually did for me.
KewlKatCutie Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i find it weird that, in almost every suicide story, they don't tell about the pain that the character feels..
Viva-Hate-Anna Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I've always been interested in failures and lives riddled with despair (not in a cruel way) and this was amazing! The imagery was incredible, great job! :)
ShinyZorua120 Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
D: I think about suicide sometimes, but nawwwww.... i change my mind all the time, I've never tried to kill myself lol
INAUSPICIOUS82 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013
i cant make it happen.tried many waiting for the day when death will come.
artsheekfreak Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
this was about three seconds away from me triggering my second personality you need to mar this for mature.. i'm just saying it's the exact thing I've tried many times, now sitting at my laptop in tears that i would ever do it to myself. my parents are the same way only I've been bullied and pushed around my whole life i'm 16 now and I've gotten over cutting and being suicidal, i hope this wasn't a personal experience for you. I've been there a few times with my friends and myself and it could've been just you feeling in such a way, but this to me felt all to real. Bravo i must say.
JOKER2448 Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012
it was weird but good, very good it flowed nicely together and made me feel what the girl felt. but it was sad!!
harleykitten342 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Hobbyist
ughhh the part about the wrists made me cringe
SicilyNotDenmark Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Amazing. I love it. The darkness in it.... it came to life.
Iridrei Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012
It's so sad because so many people actually do this...
sweetiepie019 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
bravo bravo :clap:
Bull5h1tt3r Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
too good i literally felt the pain of the cuts..... great story
ANIMEMANGAKIDGIRL Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
this is amazing. so emotional and sad!
izzyizz303 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I'm gonna try and write one might not be as good as yours...but I'll try
XxDerpyWhoovesxX Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
it's so detailed bro good job ! c:
GodzillaKrueger Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful and dark.:iconbravoplz:
XxSakuraGaaraxX Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012
Beautiful and sad! Have you written this all by yourself? I have to say that you have talent in writing! Have an awesome day!
catholicandiknowit Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012
This is very detailed. Good Job!
DancingMetalGypsy Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012  Student
My Parents are the same, maybe even worse.
onenightbootycall Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Professional General Artist
vannachill09 Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Its amazing! Realy good!
DarkJokerLove Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012
You write very well.
minecraftbob Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012
Stop bullying before it's to late
minecraftbob Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012
It's not courage that makes them do that... It's total, utter despair
RandompieFTW Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2012
The courage it takes to do that.
HetaliaHetaonigirl Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012
Love the Prussia flag. I'm awesome with Hetalia :iconlikeabossplz:
RandompieFTW Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012
I love hetalia. I'm slowly forcing everyone I know to watch it. >:D
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Submitted on
October 26, 2005
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Mature Content


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